Two Is One

The Torah tells us that Adam was created as a unibeing. One side of his head had a male face and the other side a female face. When G-d saw Adam alone in the garden it was the first time he uttered the words “Lo tov” “Not good.” It is not good for man to be alone. And He took one ‘side’ of Adam out of him and separated Chava. He called her an ‘ezer-kenegdo’ which means a ‘help-mate-over-against-you’ which our Sages, of Blessed memory, have explained thus: If the man is doing what he should in following G-d’s ways, his wife will be a help-mate. Meaning she will support him, help him and stand by his side.

But if, on the other hand, he is not following the ways that G-d has shown him, not living a life based upon the three pillars of Torah; That is - Charity =Giving of one’s Self, one’s Money, and one’s compassion. Service =Prayer, Mitzvot and Study of Torah, and bringing this into his life and his community, and practicing these actions for his wife and children, then she shall be ‘over-against’ him to bring him back on track. We see good women doing just this in and outside of the religious community. This is the way G-d created women to be.

We learn from this many things. First that it is the duty of a man to provide for his wife as it says in the Jewish marriage contract (Ketuba.) This consists of two kinds of provision: The first is material provision, food, clothing and shelter. The second is spiritual provision. He must go out and seek knowledge of Torah and especially the parts of Torah that he can bring to his wife, to inspire her, and in turn that she can teach them to, and inspire her children. The duty of a woman is to join with and receive from the man and perform the necessary actions with the intentions to transform what he has brought. These are the functions that are natural to a woman.

What do I mean that are natural to a woman? There are functions that are hard-wired biologically, hormonally and chemically in a man and in a woman. They are different, corresponding and complimentary. The simplest and analogical (meaning it obtains on all levels) example is the function of each during the act of physical union.

During this act the man is erect and thrusting. The woman is receptive and accommodating. At the culmination of the act, the man deposits a substance inside of the woman. She then, in receiving this substance, has all the necessary functions and apparatus for this substance to find its way to her particular receptor cell and join with it, in much the same way as how Adam and Chava were joined at their creation. We start as a unibeing too.

In the ‘Image-of-G-d’ they begin the process of co-creation with Him, of another human being. But it is not just this joining function that the woman provides, but the entire magically-mystical and biologically perfect environment needed for this new life to grow and develop. She spends nine very important months nurturing and tending this being in her belly.

During this precious time it is the function of the man to protect her from any outside threats or stresses, so that her process of creation may thrive. He must also provide even more at this time. He needs to provide for her nourishment physically, emotionally and spiritually. She feeds the child inside and he feeds her.

This creational process, in its functions is replicated as a man and wife create their home and family. The Torah says that the only times a man may leave his wife is to go in search of parnassah (livelihood) or in search of spiritual knowledge (Torah.) His function is to acquire these, bring both of these and to deposit them unto his wife. The raw materials of food he brings and she transforms this into a meal. The spiritual substance he brings, she transforms into stories and education for their children. And thus they each perform their functions.

Look deeply and you will see that the Torah does not know of man and woman as separate beings. Each act is performed once through a single body—a body that in our world appears as two, but which the Torah sees as one. On the contrary, for both to do the same mitzvah would be redundant, for why should one half of the body do what the other has already done?

They are a single whole, whether they know of and have found one another yet or not. Where does a woman put on tefillin or wear tzitzit? On the body of her male counterpart.


Yehoshua Leib ha Kohen is a Religious Zionist whose vision is to speak to all peoples, as the Torah commands - 'To be a Lamp unto Their Feet.' He is a Ph.D. psychologist and brings messages to guide and inspire the understanding of the wisdom of G-d's Light and the Way to Him and a joyous faith-based life.